The Reflection in the Mirror
I have just started reading Jackson Pollock: Energy Made Visible by G.H. Friedman which was published in the early 1990′s. I honestly have not gotten very far in this almost 300 page book about a man who cut his own life short. Friedman interestingly interjects his own thoughts into the writing which is wonderful. In the few pages I have read, Friedman brings up the issue of how the artist goes into the studio and absolutely must face themselves in there. I have always found this challenge to be a joy as working through those issues I face brings more clarity to my life. When I can work through them in the studio, they seem to be less painful in some way or maybe it is just the right way for me. The opposite seems true for these mid-20th-century Abstract Expressionists (or in Pollock’s case – Action Painters), because they seemed to struggle with meeting themselves in the studio without drowning their struggles with the bottle. I find it difficult to understand how so many of them struggled with the same affliction at the same time working through this amazing emergence of this incredible genre. Maybe they all just fed off of each other’s weaknesses and then that mirror in the studio (the canvas) became only bearable when they would drink. I suppose the true answer to that is one for the mind scientists (individual and collective).
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A Work in Progress
A Work in Progress
I think about this art mirror a lot and wonder about the struggles people have not only when they create art, but also when they view art. It has occurred to me how abstract work is possibly sometimes difficult for people because they struggle with what they see there. It is easier to say things like, “my dog could have painted that” or “what a mess” or “what the hell is that?” when they don’t wish to take the time to figure out what it means to them. Sometimes that is too painful and sometimes it may be down right impossible. I spent many years creating drawings which were technically correct (literally drafted to the mm) for the dreams of other people. Once I gave myself permission to do this for myself, I gained a greater respect for the part of themselves artists put into each of their works. Maybe it is because of these artists who truly put themselves out there for all to see, I have the courage and the strength it takes to continue meeting myself in the studio. I am not sure of the reasons I can do this without needing something else to boost me up. It seems the greatest challenge comes when we have to hear the opinions (and face it everyone is a critic – especially those who do not practice art) of others and bolster our inner strength when their own fear makes it difficult to view something new. I have always been someone who is who I am and cannot be who someone else wants me to be, so maybe that is it. Then again, maybe it is my lifelong experiences of living inside my head which helps me along with this. No matter what the reason, I can say without a doubt I am very grateful for these artists who have put themselves out there in front of the public eye and continued painting no matter what was said about them. Every single day the knowledge of what they went through gives me the power to smile when someone just doesn’t get it! I hope you can smile through it, too.
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There are 5 Comments to "The Reflection in the Mirror"
It was not just the painters and visual artists of that era who drank on the other side of creativity. Writers too of course. I have always wondered about all that too. You are so brave, Kim, facing yourself and your feelings in the studio. I do love this painting you show. I mentioned on my blog watching the DVD My kid could do that (I think that was the title) about a 4 year old girl who painted and sold $300,000 worth of her paintings and had shows in NYCity. in that case, the kid did do it although the documentary poses a question as to whether her dad helped. The were all primarily abstract paintings.
Do you think part of the problem with viewing an abstract picture is the viewer thinks there is something to “get.” He doesnt “get” it, so walks away. With an abstract painting I’m not so sure that there is something to get in the way one can “get” a painting of a boat for example. With an abstract, you stand there and be absorbed by colors or shapes or patterns. Drawn in or maybe even still simmering on the surface. You reflect, you meditate on what is before you. You move far back and look, then far forward In fact for me, I would most likely spend more time viewing an abstract painting than a representational painting. Just absorbing
Suki, this is such a beautiful comment. I had not thought about writers of the era being such heavy drinkers. It seems it was mainly in NYC this happened like this, but I do wonder why most of them then? Maybe it is because they were encouraged by society to keep what was inside to themselves and when they got to the studio/typewriter the pain was so great in giving birth to these highly emotional pieces the only way they could step out of their work was to hide behind the bottle. So many met untimely deaths or took their own lives because they just couldn’t deal with it any longer. We are lucky to have a better understanding of the psyche as well as to have each other like this to talk through these things.
You know this story about the 4 year old is interesting. Children can paint like that because they are not inhibited. I remember when my children were little they would enjoy playing with the paint and some super things would come out of their play/work. The thing is they just keep enjoying it and the end result doesn’t matter to them…they just love the feeling they get from the process. When my children were small sometimes I would see a painting I loved and would say something like, “would you like to work on another paper?” They were always willing and I was able to get some interesting paintings from them at that time. Maybe her father helped in that way…by just giving her another canvas at the right time. It is a great story and makes perfect sense.
I honestly think the problem with people viewing abstracts is they have to step out of their comfort zones in order to appreciate them. Many people don’t know how to do that and many people just are unwilling to contemplate anything different. Consider how hard change is for some people, it is a similar issue – fear of the unknown stops so many people! That shows up in so many ways. I have known people who have never been around abstracts who have just been overjoyed when they first see them, and maybe that is because they do not have that fear in the first place. You also might be right in that it is only a matter of education, too. Quite possibly it is a combination of the two of these issue.
I like how you describe viewing an abstract is for you. It is also true for me, I can stand in front of an abstract painting for so much longer than I do most representational works. Absorbing them is probably just the right term, too! Absorbing the energy, absorbing the emotion and absorbing the expression of the work. Some representational paintings can also pull me in like this. I can’t describe which ones, but when I see them I know there is a lot more there than technique. No matter what it takes a lot of love to paint good works, it also takes an incredible amount of facing one’s self.
Thanks Suki, you have given me so much more to think about! I love this conversation…
PS thanks for mentioning the painting I am showing. It is a piece I work on when I need some “bits” for other paintings. I is just a work in progress which keeps evolving. Also, I forgot to say, I am not sure if it is bravery or self-bashing when I meet myself in the studio, but I know I always walk out of there a much stronger person than I was when I went in! Thanks again, my friend!
Your painting is coming out beautifully Kim! The colors are very soothing! I agree with you that the studio is a place where one loses and finds oneself.
Speaking about myself I can just paint for hours at a stretch or be so engrossed creating a digital design that time seems like eternity to me and the peace and satisfaction I find is unparalleled.
What I come up with in my abstracts and how it is interpreted is always interesting to know. Everyone seems to discover another hidden piece and sometimes an insignificant section portrays an even deeper meaning and even if not so I still feel rewarded .
Take care.
Hello Sada, Thank you for your kind words. I truly appreciate them. Isn’t it lovely to have this special part of our lives known as art? I agree with you that feeling of eurphoria is unparalled to anything else for me, too.
I think it is a lovely aspect of abstract work to understand each viewer, who really takes the time to contemplate, truly sees the work through their own lens. It is also rewarding to me, so I understand.
Thanks again for stopping by and for your insightful comment!
Best!